Zit Seng's Blog

A Singaporean's technology and lifestyle blog

Bank Robbery at Holland Village

No, it’s not a robbery in the Netherlands. It’s a robbery in our Holland Village. Perhaps with all the recent focus on fighting terrorism, someone has forgotten that banks need security guards too. Apparently there were no security guards at the branch of Standard Chartered Bank at Holland Village. The only instrument used in the robbery was a piece of paper.

From hijacking an aircraft with airline cutlery, we now have a bank robbery using just merely a piece of paper.

Now, I’m just letting my imagination run a little wild here. But let’s see, perhaps when the caucasian suspect is caught, this might be his version of the events.

I walked into the bank, and saw a piece of paper on the floor. It looked important, like maybe it contained account numbers or passwords, so I picked it up and dutifully handed it over to the first teller I saw. The teller looked at the paper and appeared to understand the importance of its contents. Then, I was surprised that she handed me a reward for my kind action. I was merely doing what was right. Nevertheless, it was very thoughtful of the bank. I left the bank. Later, I realised that the reward was, wow, really substantial. That piece of paper must have been really, really, important. It was just a misunderstanding.

It should be really interesting to find out what scared the teller so much to simply hand over the money without raising the alarm. Is it the bank’s protocol to simply accede to all customer demands, regardless of how unreasonable the demands might be?

Customer: I want $30K.

Teller: But you only have $10 in your account balance!

Customer: I said, I want $30K right now.

Teller: Oh, okay, so sorry to keep you waiting. Here’s $30K anyway.

The bank’s spokesman apparently had this to say: “We would like to highlight that the safety of our customers and staff are our top priority and our branch staff are all well trained to react in such situations.”

I suppose irate customers can be quite dangerous.

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